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michelle_zoellner |
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Post subject: I Need a shoulder to cry on!!!
 Posted: Nov 12, 2002 - 07:07 PM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 103
Location: Maryville, MO
Status: Offline
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I think I'm seriously ready to lose my mind!!!!
I'm sick of school! I'm sick of work! I'm sick of being...me!
I have been in college for four years now, and I still have two more years to go because I changed majors last year. I am now an Economics major, and I HATE IT!!!
I was in music for the last three years (actually, I've been in music my whole life), and I decided that I wasn't happy and changed it! I should have just quit school b/c now, I'm barely hanging on academically, I have no motivation for doing well, so I find myself submerging myself in my work (I work full-time at wal-mart), and the rest of the time, I'm completely alone. I live by myself, I'm 321 miles from my family, I don't talk to my friends. I keep completely to myself. The only thing that makes me happy is watching Star Trek or anything else Shatner-related.
I don't know what's wrong with me! I try to get the energy to do the things I need to do, but I find myself hiding from everything.
My family has a history of mental depression. In fact, I have been suffering from it my whole life. But I fear it's becoming worse. I've been completely anti-social, I don't sleep well, and when I do fall asleep, I oversleep and miss my classes!
I miss my family terribly; I haven't seen them since July and it's killing me. I won't see them until late December. I'm so homesick. I've cried myself to sleep practically every night for the last two weeks. I'm scared to leave my apartment b/c I'm afraid of what the day's going to throw at me.
At this point, all I want to do is quit college and move back home...but I can't do that, I already owe the University a lot of money.
I need to vent to someone...I don't have anyone else to vent to...Someone out there give me a hug and tell me that I'm going to be all right! At the rate I'm going now, I honestly don't know if I will be.
Help me!
Michelle Z |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 12, 2002 - 07:16 PM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 7911
Location: CA
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| You my dear are suffering the classic signs of Depression. Check with the school clinic about getting a script for mood elevators, but make sure they monitor your reactions. If you want to go a natural route...try Vit B. compounds, Folic Acid, Valerian ....And maybe it is advisable to take a semester OFF.....Life bites us in the butt, quite often...but if you take a moment to look for it....there is BEAUTY out there that can warm the coldest Heart....Have Peace and let us know what is happening. |
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Last edited by littlestar on Nov 12, 2002 - 07:29 PM; edited 1 time in total
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 12, 2002 - 07:24 PM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 8936
Location: "It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem."~ G.K.C
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HANG IN THERE!!! Your Degree is IMPORTANT.
One tea spoon of 'backing soda' to an 8 oz of water does wonders; It balances your ph and the out come 
Doc |
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Spudgun |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 12, 2002 - 07:33 PM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 2218
Location: Post falls Idaho
Status: Offline
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michelle, call me, I will be here for you, I told you that,I know what its like to be on your own,just call the number I gave you....  |
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michelle_zoellner |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 12, 2002 - 07:41 PM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 103
Location: Maryville, MO
Status: Offline
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| Spudgun wrote: | | michelle, call me, I will be here for you, I told you that,I know what its like to be on your own,just call the number I gave you.... |
As much as I would love to call that number...I'm afraid I cannot...I have no long distance service. I do appreciate the kind gesture, however.
thank you guys for being here for me. I've been down before, but I think the fact that I've been away from my family so long is making it worse this time. I always seem to bounce back.
And LittleStar, I appreciate your advice, however, the counselors here on Campus have never been able to help me, they only seem to piss me off. And getting me to take pills is like trying to get a five year old to go to bed the night before christmas...sometimes it's near impossible! I've always been opposed to anti-depressants personally...my mother's been on them for a long time and I just don't like the idea of a pill controlling my behavior. however, if things keep going the way they're going, I may seriously start to change my view. Thanks for your imput.
Michelle |
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joains |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 12, 2002 - 07:43 PM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 15653
Location: subject to change
Status: Offline
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Here is one great big hug.......HUG
You have got to get out girlfriend......university can be one great social party........you gotta shake what the good lord gave you one night without that Blue Vest...well the vest would work with high heels and a short skirt and a low cut....nevermind....but wal-mart may not be too happy....send me a e-mail and I will share more of the goddess wisdom that is not for male ears.....
Now if I managed to bring you a small smile .....please.. you need someone you trust to talk to and please do that today and I do care about you, we all do. |
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...........Either we are TREKing together or we are Treking apart. There is no in-between.............
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 12, 2002 - 07:47 PM
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Michelle,
A couple of thoughts, hope they help
1. what's happening to you now will pass, this time next year you might be in a completely different position, keep your eyes and your soul open to change
2. talk to your parents...as a parent myself, if i thought one of my kids was far away and couldn't tell me about their problems, I would be mortified
3. Try and kick the Star Trek habit...I know this sounds hypocritical, but if you're feeling low, watching beautiful people doing something they love doing is not always helpful..plus it keeps you from going out and meeting other people who might be feeling exactly what you're feeling
love and friendship
sue |
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Spudgun |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 12, 2002 - 07:54 PM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 2218
Location: Post falls Idaho
Status: Offline
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[quote="michelle_zoellner"]| Spudgun wrote: | | michelle, call me, I will be here for you, I told you that,I know what its like to be on your own,just call the number I gave you.... |
As much as I would love to call that number...I'm afraid I cannot...I have no long distance service. I do appreciate the kind gesture, however.
then PM me yours and I will call you....you said you like english accent.....  |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 12, 2002 - 07:57 PM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 7911
Location: CA
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| Michelle- I understand, I was just thinking from the standpoint of depression being genetic and a physical deficency of certain brain compounds....that's why I suggested the natural route too. You'd be surprised at how much Folic Acid can lift the mood....they give it to pregnant women, not just for the health of the fetus, but also for post-partum depression....It's just a vitamin....we all, women, need it....Like Sue said...get away from the computer and go outside and just look at the sky, trees, birds, people...and breathe deep.....YOU ARE ALIVE...Intelligent...with a Wonderful Life ahead of You...all for you to Enjoy.... |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 12, 2002 - 08:03 PM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 3380
Location: New Jersey USA
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I agree 100% with littlestar. Check out the clinic on campus and find someone to help. Also talk to your college advisors. That's what they are there for.
You'd be surprized how many young people, away from home for the first time, go through exactly what you are going through. Many overeat, drink excessivly, do drugs, etc, anything to hide from it. You seem to be overworking yourself. Maybe taking a semester off to re-coup isn't a bad idea.
Remember, life is always going to throw unexpected things at you. How you deal with them will shape your life. Hiding in you apartment from your problems also prevents you from seeing the beauty that is out there.
We're always here for you. Here's a hug:
CaptJTK |
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judy |
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Post subject: Michelle
Posted: Nov 12, 2002 - 08:25 PM
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Joined: Oct 31, 2002
Posts: 1418
Status: Offline
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Michelle, I know from raising my own kids that being at school and away from your family can be very lonely and depressing at times. Taking a semester off and going home may be just what you need. If you can't call home then write! Your family is there to help and they want nothing more than your happiness, as do we all.
We all love to watch Star Trek (that's why so many of us found this site), BUT, if you can get out of your room and even just take a walk around the block or do an errand you'll feel better. It's hard to force yourself when your depressed, but give it a try.
Keep telling us how it's going. We're here for you.
P.S. Valarian Root is great for sleep. Make sure to buy a good brand like Gaia Herbs, which is standardized. |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 13, 2002 - 04:11 AM
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Hi Michelle. I came in late on this thread and for that I am sorry. I think some really good advice has been offered here. This BBS is very different because in the main we are very supportive of one another especially in times of hardship. I certainly wish you well and here is that hug you need <HUG> but I have to point out as a friend that though we here certainly support you there are limits to how we can help you. To a certain extent visiting here is an extension of the escapist behavior you have been exhibiting and you need to snap out of it. I certainly want to see you stay here as a poster but it is time to take care of Michelle.
I urge you to do some things for your own well-being, foremost among them being find a real live human you can trust to talk to who has some horse sense. You need to reopen the lines of communication with your family immediately as you have zero emotional support right now and you really need some. You need to not make any major decisions such as quitting school, changing majors, taking a semester off etc. until you have attained some modicum of balance and I think that is best done by reconnecting with the real world. If you absolutely can't find a real live human to speak with then please feel free to PM me-I will help any way I can and I will tell you the truth as I see it without alloying it with a bunch of sugar and pollyanna-isms. If you don't feel comfortable with me then pick someone else who has posted to your thread and PM them. I think you will be glad you did. Good luck. You're going to be OK. |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 13, 2002 - 04:28 AM
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go to your doc and get on some antidepressants. i take prozac. without my meds i would really be dead. accupunture helps too.
if you nee to talk my shoulders are always here for you.
SuzeQ |
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Aunt_Margie |
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Post subject: Re: I Need a shoulder to cry on!!!
Posted: Nov 13, 2002 - 04:32 AM
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Member
Joined: Oct 25, 2002
Posts: 639
Location: Somewhere Out There
Status: Offline
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| michelle_zoellner wrote: | I think I'm seriously ready to lose my mind!!!!
I'm sick of school! I'm sick of work! I'm sick of being...me!
I have been in college for four years now, and I still have two more years to go because I changed majors last year. I am now an Economics major, and I HATE IT!!!
I was in music for the last three years (actually, I've been in music my whole life), and I decided that I wasn't happy and changed it! I should have just quit school b/c now, I'm barely hanging on academically, I have no motivation for doing well, so I find myself submerging myself in my work (I work full-time at wal-mart), and the rest of the time, I'm completely alone. I live by myself, I'm 321 miles from my family, I don't talk to my friends. I keep completely to myself. The only thing that makes me happy is watching Star Trek or anything else Shatner-related.
I don't know what's wrong with me! I try to get the energy to do the things I need to do, but I find myself hiding from everything.
My family has a history of mental depression. In fact, I have been suffering from it my whole life. But I fear it's becoming worse. I've been completely anti-social, I don't sleep well, and when I do fall asleep, I oversleep and miss my classes!
I miss my family terribly; I haven't seen them since July and it's killing me. I won't see them until late December. I'm so homesick. I've cried myself to sleep practically every night for the last two weeks. I'm scared to leave my apartment b/c I'm afraid of what the day's going to throw at me.
At this point, all I want to do is quit college and move back home...but I can't do that, I already owe the University a lot of money.
I need to vent to someone...I don't have anyone else to vent to...Someone out there give me a hug and tell me that I'm going to be all right! At the rate I'm going now, I honestly don't know if I will be.
Help me!
Michelle Z |
Michelle, you have a lot to contend with now. First things first. It is hard to do anything well or to think rationally in a state of depression, whether it be a clinical or reactive depression. Whether you decide to try an antidepressant, even for just a short while, or not, you need to find someone - even just one person - whom you can confide in. This BBS may be a start. Talking does wonders in many ways. Freud called it "the talking cure."
Secondly, there are antidepressants on the market that are not addictive and can be used for a short while. Sometimes they are used just to get someone over a hump - like getting a record player needle over a skip. I'm not saying you should definately consider medication, but also realize that if you decide to try an antidepressant, you don't necessarily have to make a lifetime commitment to it. If you don't like the way the medication makes you feel, stop taking it.
I understand how it feels not to know what you want to be when you grow up. I am 40 and am still trying to figure it out. I changed my major about 5 times and, similar to you, finally took an extra year of college to take up a dual major. And guess what, I earned a masters degree after that and then decided to switch again and go into a different field. The point I am trying to make is: don't panic if you have changed your mind a lot and haven't figured it all out yet. It doesn't mean you are failing. You are going to be growing and changing many times over in life. Nothing ever stays the same. The idea is to learn from your experiences. Slow down, relax, and try to learn from what you are going through. What is this time in your life trying to teach you about yourself?
I also understand what it is like to be in college far away from home. You may decide to stick it out where you are, but you may also want to consider transfering after December and attending a college or university that is closer to your family. I did that as well. I was 800 miles away from home and did exactly that in my Junior year. I hated where I was, hated my classes, but decided to complete the semester, do as well as I could through December, and then move back home. I applied fast to a new college during the Christmas break and got in. I just wasn't comfortable where I was and knew I had made the right decision to go back home. I don't know if that would be the right decision for you, but here again, my point is is that if you decide to go home, it doesn't mean you have failed because you "didn't stick it out." I don't know if that is what you are worried about - failure - but I think there is always an element of that in depression. You may even decide not to go back to school for a while. You may decide to only work for a while. That may be worth considering. But, it's OK not to know exactly what to do. No one ever know exactly what to do. If they did, they would be perfect. And no one is perfect. Don't be affraid to make a decision and try it out. You may make some mistakes, but that's how we learn. I don't know if I have been of any help to you, but feel free to pm me if you would like to talk. |
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Paul |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 13, 2002 - 04:45 AM
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Site Admin
Joined: Sep 23, 2002
Posts: 4113
Location: The Cyber Frontier
Status: Offline
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Michelle,
Trust me this isn't something to get that upset over. Many college students don't have a clue what they want to study and having to spend an extra year or two in college will give you a chance to explore other classes in other disciplines that you may not have had a chance to explore during a 4 year track.
Many schools over services where you can talk to someone about this. I'm sure you'll find that you are absolutely not alone in this. Also talk it over with your advisor. You may be able to get into a more General Business concentration without any more additional time (Economics is a strong discipline for many business courses so they classes you have taken WILL help you.)
And always feel free to vent here. I think you just need someone at school to give you a different perspective on where you are at - it looks imposing but my guess is that once you see it through a different frame it won't look as bad as you currently think.
-Paul |
_________________
Paul@WilliamShatner.com
Paul is on MySpace
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