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Post subject: The Blue States Declare Independence
 Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 02:27 AM
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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Posts: 8631
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I received this from an American friend today. It's a joke, of course.
| Quote: | Dear Red States:
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.
We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we lefties.
Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.
Peace out,
Blue States |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 02:46 AM
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Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 8075
Location: New Jersey USA
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OMG, 
Thanks Harry! You really made me LOL! |
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Not an eye for an eye is the golden rule
Just leaves a room full of blind men...DMB
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 03:57 AM
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Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 15102
Location: CA
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NOW...Your friend just summed up the TRUE cause of the Civil War...only the Southern States were holding all the Capital at that time.... |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 04:19 AM
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Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 8075
Location: New Jersey USA
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 07:50 AM
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Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 15102
Location: CA
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| Yeah S...don't they KNOW...You ALWAYS take the number and call back after verification.....DUH !!!!! |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 09:57 AM
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Joined: Sep 18, 2004
Posts: 7329
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OH right, as if.
I have seriously considered that the Pacific Northwest, Oregon and Washington, should separate from the rest of the US, but there is no possible way we'd accept the East Coast or the Upper Midwest. I mean, okay, the Upper Midwest at least has cheese, but what the heck does the East Coast have to offer? Lobster? Nah, we already have seafood, and the best coffee's. And no one wants California, and although Hawaii has good fruit, it's just not worth it....
Sheesh.  |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 10:06 AM
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Joined: Sep 18, 2004
Posts: 7329
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Okay, in all seriousness, I get the premise of the joke. And the basic premise is somewhat amusing.
But, a lot of the comments within the joke are bigoted. And, I would imagine that those of the faiths mentioned, or who live in the states referred to, could well be offended. Slave states? Not funny.
Is this really where this site has sunk? Are we so determined to shove our beliefs down each other's throats that we have to sink to this level, and insult other people's beliefs and lifestyles? How very pathetic. And a very sad commentary on the people who post on this site.
I'm sorry, but I really feel rather ashamed to be associated with this site anymore. And before anyone says it, I won't let the door hit me on the butt on the way out.....   |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 11:31 AM
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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Posts: 8631
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| Cat wrote: | Okay, in all seriousness, I get the premise of the joke. And the basic premise is somewhat amusing.
But, a lot of the comments within the joke are bigoted. And, I would imagine that those of the faiths mentioned, or who live in the states referred to, could well be offended. Slave states? Not funny.
Is this really where this site has sunk? Are we so determined to shove our beliefs down each other's throats that we have to sink to this level, and insult other people's beliefs and lifestyles? How very pathetic. And a very sad commentary on the people who post on this site.
I'm sorry, but I really feel rather ashamed to be associated with this site anymore. And before anyone says it, I won't let the door hit me on the butt on the way out..... |
You could start by leading by example... SHEESH! Like your little avatar declares, you are most certainly here to annoy.
....OH, and don't let the garden gate slam you on the way out! |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 12:54 PM
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Joined: Sep 18, 2004
Posts: 7329
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| Harry_Mudd wrote: | | Cat wrote: | Okay, in all seriousness, I get the premise of the joke. And the basic premise is somewhat amusing.
But, a lot of the comments within the joke are bigoted. And, I would imagine that those of the faiths mentioned, or who live in the states referred to, could well be offended. Slave states? Not funny.
Is this really where this site has sunk? Are we so determined to shove our beliefs down each other's throats that we have to sink to this level, and insult other people's beliefs and lifestyles? How very pathetic. And a very sad commentary on the people who post on this site.
I'm sorry, but I really feel rather ashamed to be associated with this site anymore. And before anyone says it, I won't let the door hit me on the butt on the way out..... |
You could start by leading by example... SHEESH! Like your little avatar declares, you are most certainly here to annoy.
....OH, and don't let the garden gate slam you on the way out! |
Hmmm, the pot calling the kettle black again, huh?
Oh and Harry, if it's your garden gate, I'm sure it's too small to do any damage....
You just go on trying to convince yourself that you're better than everyone else here. And if you think your negative remarks about the US, it's citizens, and people who don't share your own personal or religious beliefs, makes you sound "enlightened", than you're just quite a sad and depressing figure. 
You like to bully people into not posting what they want, and if that doesn't work, you insult them by calling them stupid, ignorant, etc. But I could give a rat's ass what you think of me, and it just gets right up your nose that you can't bully me, and that I stand up to you. Sadly, a lot of the time your bullying people leads to them being afraid to post what they want. You were indirectly responsible for the banning of several people I really liked, and the cause of at least two people leaving, that I also liked. And I've watched you drive several people off the election thread with your bullying.
So, yes, Harry, you just keep trying to convince yourself that I'm just a big mean old girl picking on you, and don't see the truth about your own actions. Yeah, that is very "enlightened".
And, I still find a joke that refers to people as "crazy bastards", and attempts to infer that about half the people in this country are ignorant rednecks, less than amusing.
Now, bored with this crap, so take all the shots you want. I think I can find better things to do.  |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 01:06 PM
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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Posts: 8631
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| Cat wrote: | | Harry_Mudd wrote: | | Cat wrote: | Okay, in all seriousness, I get the premise of the joke. And the basic premise is somewhat amusing.
But, a lot of the comments within the joke are bigoted. And, I would imagine that those of the faiths mentioned, or who live in the states referred to, could well be offended. Slave states? Not funny.
Is this really where this site has sunk? Are we so determined to shove our beliefs down each other's throats that we have to sink to this level, and insult other people's beliefs and lifestyles? How very pathetic. And a very sad commentary on the people who post on this site.
I'm sorry, but I really feel rather ashamed to be associated with this site anymore. And before anyone says it, I won't let the door hit me on the butt on the way out..... |
You could start by leading by example... SHEESH! Like your little avatar declares, you are most certainly here to annoy.
....OH, and don't let the garden gate slam you on the way out! |
Hmmm, the pot calling the kettle black again, huh?
Oh and Harry, if it's your garden gate, I'm sure it's too small to do any damage....
You just go on trying to convince yourself that you're better than everyone else here. And if you think your negative remarks about the US, it's citizens, and people who don't share your own personal or religious beliefs, makes you sound "enlightened", than you're just quite a sad and depressing figure.
You like to bully people into not posting what they want, and if that doesn't work, you insult them by calling them stupid, ignorant, etc. But I could give a rat's ass what you think of me, and it just gets right up your nose that you can't bully me, and that I stand up to you. Sadly, a lot of the time your bullying people leads to them being afraid to post what they want. You were indirectly responsible for the banning of several people I really liked, and the cause of at least two people leaving, that I also liked. And I've watched you drive several people off the election thread with your bullying.
So, yes, Harry, you just keep trying to convince yourself that I'm just a big mean old girl picking on you, and don't see the truth about your own actions. Yeah, that is very "enlightened".
And, I still find a joke that refers to people as "crazy bastards", and attempts to infer that about half the people in this country are ignorant rednecks, less than amusing.
Now, bored with this crap, so take all the shots you want. I think I can find better things to do. |
As I said, the ironic declaration of independence, was sent to me by one of your fellow countrymen...
GOD, YOU'RE BORING!!! |
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Post subject: Re: The Blue States Declare Independence
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 02:20 PM
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Joined: Dec 12, 2005
Posts: 11156
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| A joke? Yeah right! I'm from Oklahoma! Not S. Baptist, but my family is. I'm Catholic, bet you've got something ugly to say about that, too, because it ain't your beloved Buddhism which you don't seem to practice too much on this board?!? Well, I've got something to say to you, Harry! Shove it up the old wazoo and that includes that decrepid old horse that you rode in on! Moron! |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 04:06 PM
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Member
Joined: Sep 30, 2004
Posts: 5884
Location: Midwest
Status: Offline
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If Gornman posting a ribbing link about England got his hand slapped, I certainly would hope that this post gets at least the same treatment.
I highly doubt this was meant "all in good fun". I know you think the "commoners" who support Republicans are lower class, and intellectually inferior.
People can take jokes, but not when the agenda is transparent.
In either case, shove it. |
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"I am the soul of honor, kindness, mercy, and goodness. Trust me in all things."
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Post subject: Re: The Blue States Declare Independence
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 05:54 PM
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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Posts: 8631
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| angel wrote: | | A joke? Yeah right! I'm from Oklahoma! Not S. Baptist, but my family is. I'm Catholic, bet you've got something ugly to say about that, too, because it ain't your beloved Buddhism which you don't seem to practice too much on this board?!? Well, I've got something to say to you, Harry! Shove it up the old wazoo and that includes that decrepid old horse that you rode in on! Moron! |
Touchy! |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 05:57 PM
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Member
Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Posts: 8631
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| AquinasWI wrote: | If Gornman posting a ribbing link about England got his hand slapped, I certainly would hope that this post gets at least the same treatment.
I highly doubt this was meant "all in good fun". I know you think the "commoners" who support Republicans are lower class, and intellectually inferior.
People can take jokes, but not when the agenda is transparent.
In either case, shove it. |
Couldn't careless about a bit of UK rib-tickling. As I will repeat again and again, this was from your fellow countryman.
Lighten up, or you will appear to be bigoted, sour losers! |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 06:07 PM
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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Posts: 8631
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| Kitten owes me an apology for lacking a sense of humour, or I will never comment on anything she says again.... BUT, she will be unable to step up and apologise. |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 06:11 PM
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Joined: Sep 18, 2004
Posts: 7329
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| Harry_Mudd wrote: | | Kitten owes me an apology for lacking a sense of humour, or I will never comment on anything she says again.... BUT, she will be unable to step up and apologise. |
Harry, I'm leaving this site because of the sort of crap you put out. Owe you an apology? What a freaking joke!! Reread this thread, moron. I'm not the one who pissed people off.
The others were right. Shove it. Oh, and you can kiss my departing backside. |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 06:12 PM
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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Posts: 8631
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| Cat wrote: | | Harry_Mudd wrote: | | Kitten owes me an apology for lacking a sense of humour, or I will never comment on anything she says again.... BUT, she will be unable to step up and apologise. |
Harry, I'm leaving this site because of the sort of crap you put out. Owe you an apology? What a freaking joke!! Reread this thread, moron. I'm not the one who pissed people off.
The others were right. Shove it. Oh, and you can kiss my departing backside. |
Sour loser! |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 06:37 PM
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Joined: Nov 07, 2002
Posts: 8631
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| I am starting to think that some of you don't like looking in a mirror of yourself. If the details of that Declaration are wrong, please do tell me and may be my American friend will be willing to amend the details.... maybe. Just let me know what is incorrect. |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 06:49 PM
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 08:00 PM
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Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 15102
Location: CA
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OH COME ON.....We are becoming a bunch of knicker twisted, word slamming rednecks....it's just a stupid joke...and it really DOES state some of the beliefs that started the Civil WAR...I wasn't joking about THAT
WE ALL KNOW HARRY MUDD WAS the ST epitome of
pompousness...and his wife a fine example of bitchiness in extreme...
do you want him to break charactor?
What difference does it make?...will you be at each others Wedding?...Funeral ?...I think not....so LET IT GO....
NO ONE LEAVES...by ORDER of this Betazoid Ships' COUNSELOR !!!!
I KNOW the Election...Our Country...is in a scarey state...
but DON'T let it affect your LIFE!!!!
I LOVE YOU GUYS !!!!!  |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 08:25 PM
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Joined: Apr 14, 2004
Posts: 11590
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I saw that on another board I go to and they said it had been around for quite a while. Presumably you fall in to one of 2 camps. Either you are a typical Red Stater, in which you are pleased not to have stem cell research or you don't fit that mould and can dismiss it as nonsense.
Either way, it's supposed to be a joke, Cat, not like you to have a sense of humour bypass! |
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"It's never too late to be who we might have been" George Elliot
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 09:48 PM
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Joined: Sep 18, 2004
Posts: 7329
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| littlestar wrote: | OH COME ON.....We are becoming a bunch of knicker twisted, word slamming rednecks....it's just a stupid joke...and it really DOES state some of the beliefs that started the Civil WAR...I wasn't joking about THAT
WE ALL KNOW HARRY MUDD WAS the ST epitome of
pompousness...and his wife a fine example of bitchiness in extreme...
do you want him to break charactor?
What difference does it make?...will you be at each others Wedding?...Funeral ?...I think not....so LET IT GO....
NO ONE LEAVES...by ORDER of this Betazoid Ships' COUNSELOR !!!!
I KNOW the Election...Our Country...is in a scarey state...
but DON'T let it affect your LIFE!!!!
I LOVE YOU GUYS !!!!! |
Funeral? Well, maybe a little dancing and singing......
Sorry to have worried you, sis. |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 09:50 PM
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Joined: Sep 18, 2004
Posts: 7329
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| greenchick wrote: | I saw that on another board I go to and they said it had been around for quite a while. Presumably you fall in to one of 2 camps. Either you are a typical Red Stater, in which you are pleased not to have stem cell research or you don't fit that mould and can dismiss it as nonsense.
Either way, it's supposed to be a joke, Cat, not like you to have a sense of humour bypass! |
I think there's a time and place for everything, and this wasn't the right time and place for that particular joke. I get a lot of good stuff through e-mails that I find funny, but I know others might be upset by it, so I am careful where I post it, and who I e-mail it to. |
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 02, 2008 - 10:40 PM
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Joined: Aug 30, 2005
Posts: 16181
Location: Jaw Jah
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Cat, can be mind-numbing can't it?
Stick around, k
Oh, welcome to the club...we got jackets  |
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Last edited by Gornman on Nov 03, 2008 - 01:03 AM; edited 1 time in total
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 03, 2008 - 12:39 AM
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Joined: Feb 12, 2005
Posts: 14327
Location: Your daily life is your temple and your religion. Kahil Gibran
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| Well, if it means anything, historically, some churches once actually owned and traded slaves. It is in the history books. That is why some churches split and formed two governing bodies during the civil war. After the war, some reunited, but others never did. |
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