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Post subject: No more excuses! (religious)
 Posted: Aug 04, 2008 - 09:24 PM
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Member
Joined: Feb 12, 2005
Posts: 9333
Location: Living in the NOW
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God Can Use You, if He can use these folks...
Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Sampson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
John the Baptist ate bugs
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ulcer...
AND Lazarus was dead!
No more excuses now!! God can use you to your full potential.
Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger. |
_________________
"The best sermons are never preached.
They are shown to others through example."
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Susie |
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 05, 2008 - 07:33 AM
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Joined: Aug 11, 2003
Posts: 97
Status: Offline
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Post subject: Re: No more excuses! (religious)
Posted: Aug 05, 2008 - 08:20 AM
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Joined: Aug 30, 2005
Posts: 9305
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| SMB wrote: | God Can Use You, if He can use these folks...
Noah was a drunk...and he was a rotten swimmer
Abraham was too oldSarah laughed
Isaac was a daydreamerfree spirit
Jacob was a liararen't we all
Leah was uglysorry,I was drunk
Joseph was abusedand cocky
Moses had a stuttering problemhis staff worked him thru it
Gideon was afraidnever
Sampson had long hair and was a womanizerI like him already
Rahab was a prostituteand she was in the lineage of Christ
Jeremiah and Timothy were too youngno such thing as too young
David had an affair and was a murderer This one takes the cake and is the pinnacle of your point SMB.
Elijah was suicidaland never died
Isaiah preached nakedwho warned his nation they would be be destroyed if they turned from God
Jonah ran from Goddoofus, where can you run to?
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
John the Baptist ate bugs
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious
Timothy had an ulcer...
AND Lazarus was dead!
No more excuses now!! God can use you to your full potential.
Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger. |
While having a little fun here. I think this is one of the best threads
here on WSBBS. Outstanding SMB.
Oh, I saved a few for the rest of you. |
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Johnny_Turbo |
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Post subject: Re: No more excuses! (religious)
Posted: Aug 05, 2008 - 03:20 PM
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Member
Joined: Jan 14, 2003
Posts: 5272
Location: Chillville, PA
Status: Offline
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| SMB wrote: | God Can Use You, if He can use these folks...
Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Sampson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Isaiah preached naked
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow...after murdering her husband with poisoned Campbell's Soup (The Naomi Campbell Murders)
Job went bankrupt...due to the economic slowdown, Job's are hard to come by
John the Baptist ate bugs...Papillion (butterfly)! So did Steve McQueen
Peter denied Christ...a bank loan
The Disciples fell asleep while praying..after a night of gambling and boozin
Martha worried about everything... after going to jail for a stock swindle
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once...then married a Sadducee
Zaccheus was too small...so said his ex-wife
Paul was too religious...and had identity issues (Saul or Paul)
Timothy had an ulcer...after trying the Oscar Madison diet
AND "Lazarus was dead...to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it."---Dickens
No more excuses now!! God can use you to your full potential. Does he need a plumber? Cuz I'm gettin really good at it!
Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger. |
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C'mon, The Tanner, check his I.D.
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 06, 2008 - 01:51 AM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 3215
Location: New Jersey USA
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| I guess there's hope for us all! |
_________________
Speaking as an enourmously unlikable person, I find it difficult to maintain grudges against all those that want to kill me, don't you? - Alan Shore
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 06, 2008 - 02:47 AM
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Joined: Aug 30, 2005
Posts: 9305
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Just a little follow up because this one has always intrigued me..
David had an affair and was a murderer
True!
Why was David called a man after God's own heart?
For some reason I've always been fascinated with this guy.
Why?
I'm not sure, maybe I just like his name.
I think the story of David is one we can all relate to.
When do you let things pass and when do you make your stand?
Saul and his armies were letting things pass and cowering in
their tents, afraid. Along comes this young snot-nosed whippersnapper,
sizes up the situation and says..
who is this uncircumcised Philistine,
that he should defy the armies of the living God?
You know the rest.  |
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 07, 2008 - 01:50 AM
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Member
Joined: Feb 12, 2005
Posts: 9333
Location: Living in the NOW
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And here is what is scary about David:
| Quote: | | 2 Samuel 7:12-13. Referring to David, these verses say, "When your days are over and you rest with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, who will come from your own body, and I will establish his kingdom. He is the one who will build a house for my Name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever." The Davidic line reaches through the line of Seth to Noah, through the line of Shem to Abraham. Then through the lines of Isaac, Jacob, Judah, David, and to Jesus. |
http://www.allaboutjesuschrist.org/line ... us-faq.htm |
_________________
"The best sermons are never preached.
They are shown to others through example."
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 08, 2008 - 04:40 PM
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This account has been Permanently Banned
Joined: May 24, 2003
Posts: 1094
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My primary or primordial gripe about the Bible is it's ethnocentricity. My ancestors dwelt in the Baltic Sea region. Those Biblical jackasses which you list are exclusively Mediterranean blokes. Who gives a rat's ass about a fictional Moses?
Bill, I don't know if you hang around this message board but we know that you are Jewish and I don't mean to hurt your feelings. I am a fan of yours.
I am not an atheist or an agnostic. God exists.
Take your olive oil, wine, sheep, pizza and tomatoes and shove them where the sun don't shine. We people of the north reject your folklore. We've got plenty of our own...for example, Thor. Swarthy complexion? Not interested.
Paul, I am not a political animal. I am a fan of "Star Trek" but some of these people can get me a little hot under the collar at times. |
_________________
"What's on tv?"
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Paul |
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 08, 2008 - 05:41 PM
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Site Admin
Joined: Sep 23, 2002
Posts: 4047
Location: The Cyber Frontier
Status: Offline
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| ColorTelevision wrote: |
Paul, I am not a political animal. I am a fan of "Star Trek" but some of these people can get me a little hot under the collar at times. |
CT,
Politics, sex and religion are those topics your parents told you not to discuss in mixed company...and I keep repeating that here but it doesn't necessarily sink in. I didn't quite get the Jewish issues you seem to be having here and in the Mirizor thread but let's just brush that off to the "hot under the collar" status.
I think the topic is a fair topic but if you feel it's a bit "preachy" or "recruity" (is that a word??) then avoid religious threads. Same with Politics...
-P |
_________________
Paul@WilliamShatner.com
Paul is on MySpace
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morgram |
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 08, 2008 - 06:02 PM
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Member
Joined: Sep 19, 2005
Posts: 2934
Status: Offline
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| SMB, there is...uh..no P in Samson. |
_________________
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 08, 2008 - 06:03 PM
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Member
Joined: Sep 18, 2004
Posts: 4698
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| ColorTelevision wrote: | My primary or primordial gripe about the Bible is it's ethnocentricity. My ancestors dwelt in the Baltic Sea region. Those Biblical jackasses which you list are exclusively Mediterranean blokes. Who gives a rat's ass about a fictional Moses?
Bill, I don't know if you hang around this message board but we know that you are Jewish and I don't mean to hurt your feelings. I am a fan of yours.
I am not an atheist or an agnostic. God exists.
Take your olive oil, wine, sheep, pizza and tomatoes and shove them where the sun don't shine. We people of the north reject your folklore. We've got plenty of our own...for example, Thor. Swarthy complexion? Not interested.
Paul, I am not a political animal. I am a fan of "Star Trek" but some of these people can get me a little hot under the collar at times. |
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 08, 2008 - 06:15 PM
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This account has been Permanently Banned
Joined: May 24, 2003
Posts: 1094
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| Paul wrote: | | ColorTelevision wrote: |
Paul, I am not a political animal. I am a fan of "Star Trek" but some of these people can get me a little hot under the collar at times. |
CT,
Politics, sex and religion are those topics your parents told you not to discuss in mixed company...and I keep repeating that here but it doesn't necessarily sink in. I didn't quite get the Jewish issues you seem to be having here and in the Mirizor thread but let's just brush that off to the "hot under the collar" status.
I think the topic is a fair topic but if you feel it's a bit "preachy" or "recruity" (is that a word??) then avoid religious threads. Same with Politics...
-P |
Paul,
Thanks for that. I would like to show up at one of your confabs (is that even a word?), conventions, parties, rented halls or love-fests to express my 2-cents worth face-to-face.
There are a lot of smart people posting here. I will attempt to proceed with caution.
-- John (AKA ColorTelevision) |
_________________
"What's on tv?"
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morgram |
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 08, 2008 - 07:00 PM
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Member
Joined: Sep 19, 2005
Posts: 2934
Status: Offline
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| ColorTelevision wrote: | My primary or primordial gripe about the Bible is it's ethnocentricity. My ancestors dwelt in the Baltic Sea region. Those Biblical jackasses which you list are exclusively Mediterranean blokes. Who gives a rat's ass about a fictional Moses?
Bill, I don't know if you hang around this message board but we know that you are Jewish and I don't mean to hurt your feelings. I am a fan of yours.
I am not an atheist or an agnostic. God exists.
Take your olive oil, wine, sheep, pizza and tomatoes and shove them where the sun don't shine. We people of the north reject your folklore. We've got plenty of our own...for example, Thor. Swarthy complexion? Not interested.
Paul, I am not a political animal. I am a fan of "Star Trek" but some of these people can get me a little hot under the collar at times. |
You believe in God.....BUT not the God of the judeo-christian bible. Anyone can believe in a "supreme power" with no specifics attached. |
_________________
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 08, 2008 - 08:29 PM
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Member
Joined: Feb 12, 2005
Posts: 9333
Location: Living in the NOW
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OK Folks. I didn't mean for this to get anyone hot under the collar. No need to start beating each other up with our Bibles or other Religious material.
I just thought, how interesting that some of us never seem to think we are good enough to succeed at anything. I was merely pointing out that some of the most unlikely people end up doing the most extraordinary things.
Just like you wonderful folks are going to pitch in and do an extraordinary thing like sponsor a horse, right?
Just had to throw in a small dig.
Not that I am playing the guilt thing or anything.  |
_________________
"The best sermons are never preached.
They are shown to others through example."
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morgram |
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 08, 2008 - 09:51 PM
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Member
Joined: Sep 19, 2005
Posts: 2934
Status: Offline
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| SMB wrote: | OK Folks. I didn't mean for this to get anyone hot under the collar. No need to start beating each other up with our Bibles or other Religious material.
I just thought, how interesting that some of us never seem to think we are good enough to succeed at anything. I was merely pointing out that some of the most unlikely people end up doing the most extraordinary things.
Just like you wonderful folks are going to pitch in and do an extraordinary thing like sponsor a horse, right?
Just had to throw in a small dig.
Not that I am playing the guilt thing or anything. |
Hell, I like the jist of your message, SMB. I mean, Elmer Gantry is one of my favorite movies and everything. |
_________________
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
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