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Post subject: Tuesday Joke - Alcohol Study
 Posted: Jun 10, 2008 - 04:01 PM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 3369
Location: New Jersey USA
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A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles in a year.
Another study found Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.
Kind of makes you proud.
 Good Morning!
My father sent me this joke this morning, so I thought I'd share. How's everyone? Man, I missed being here, but until recently I was too busy to breathe. Now I am severenced out of work, and very happily taking the summer off, I hope to be hanging around here again, if you'll have me.
I missed talking to you all.
Have a great day,
CaptJTK |
_________________
Speaking as an enourmously unlikable person, I find it difficult to maintain grudges against all those that want to kill me, don't you? - Alan Shore
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Post subject:
Posted: Jun 10, 2008 - 05:41 PM
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Joined: Nov 08, 2002
Posts: 12441
Location: New York
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Welcome Back!!!
You were on Duty...and now you are Off Duty...
A Vacation-Holiday...
Enjoy the BBS!
Enjoy the Summer!!
Enjoy the Girls!!!
Dan
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 Rest Easy...The Icon Above is an: ALBINO VULCAN....Yellow...Red Eyed...Bald...Pointed Ears...and....[Dramatic Pause]...Smiling!!!
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Post subject:
Posted: Jun 10, 2008 - 07:59 PM
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Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 5590
Location: Corn country in Illinois
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Welcome back CaptJTK!!!!
If you want to be on the IM with me and visit send me an email when your on and I'll chat with you if I'm on. Been busy with the garden and picking up soda pop cans in the evening so I'm in and out a lot...if it's not deluge raining here!
DianaG
P.S. Are you in the heat wave that's going on out East?
it's 84 here with low humidity |
_________________
LT. Star Fleet Ship's Chaplain/Councelor, USSBlackhawk
"Jesus said to her I am the Resurrection and the Life ..." John 11:25
"O Death where is thy sting?.... the Victory is thru Jesus Christ." I Cor. 15:54-56
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Post subject:
Posted: Jun 10, 2008 - 08:12 PM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 3369
Location: New Jersey USA
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Hi Diana!
Yes, we are in a heat wave. It's 96 this afternoon, but the heat index is well over 100. There's an excessive heat warning, and a severe thunderstorm watch on for tonight, with a tornado watch too! How much fun can one person have!
The kids all got out of school early since there's no air conditioning in our school system, so I have a house full of not only my own kids, but a bunch of stragglers they brought home with them.
Not to worry, I have the flashlights and candles onhand for later, and if the kids get out of hand, I'll hose 'em.
I'll be on tonight (weather permitting),so look for me on IM.
CaptJTK |
_________________
Speaking as an enourmously unlikable person, I find it difficult to maintain grudges against all those that want to kill me, don't you? - Alan Shore
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Post subject:
Posted: Jun 10, 2008 - 08:15 PM
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Member
Joined: Dec 12, 2005
Posts: 10560
Location: Never you mind where I'm at! You don't need to be knowing! Snoops!
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Good joke! And Hi Hi, again!   |
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Post subject:
Posted: Jun 10, 2008 - 08:20 PM
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Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 3369
Location: New Jersey USA
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Hi Angel!
Is Jimmy Buffett really running for president?
WOW, he'd have my vote!
No, seriously......
CaptJTK |
_________________
Speaking as an enourmously unlikable person, I find it difficult to maintain grudges against all those that want to kill me, don't you? - Alan Shore
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Post subject:
Posted: Jun 10, 2008 - 08:29 PM
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Member
Joined: Dec 12, 2005
Posts: 10560
Location: Never you mind where I'm at! You don't need to be knowing! Snoops!
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| CaptJTK wrote: | Hi Angel!
Is Jimmy Buffett really running for president?
WOW, he'd have my vote!
No, seriously......
CaptJTK |
I wish he was! But I think even he knows there's too many sharks in those political waters to contend with. But he'd definitely get my vote. I've been a Parrothead for a long time and he's practically a god in my eyes Along with Bill of course! |
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Post subject:
Posted: Jun 10, 2008 - 08:45 PM
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Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 3369
Location: New Jersey USA
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She came down from Cincinnati.
It took her three days on a train.
Lookin' for some peace and quiet;
hoped to see the sun again.
But now she lives down by the ocean.
She's takin' care to look for sharks.
They hang out in the local bars,
And they feed right after dark.
[Chorus:]
Can't you feel 'em circlin' honey?
Can't you feel 'em swimmin' around?
You got fins to the left, fins to the right,
and you're the only bait in town.
You got fins to the left, fins to the right,
and you're the only girl in town.
She's savin' up all of her money.
Wants to head south in May;
Maybe roll in the sand with a rock'n'roll man,
Somewhere down Montserrat way.
But the money's good in the season;
Helps to lighten her load.
Boys keep her high as the months go by.
She's gettin' postcards from the road.
[Chorus]
Sailed off to Antigua.
It took her three days on a boat.
Lookin' for some peace and quiet;
Maybe keep her dreams afloat.
But now she feels like a remora,
'cause the school's still close at hand.
Just behind the reef are the big white teeth
of the sharks that can swim on the land.
It does sound like a political piece, doesn't it?
CaptJTK |
_________________
Speaking as an enourmously unlikable person, I find it difficult to maintain grudges against all those that want to kill me, don't you? - Alan Shore
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Post subject:
Posted: Jun 10, 2008 - 08:54 PM
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Member
Joined: Dec 12, 2005
Posts: 10560
Location: Never you mind where I'm at! You don't need to be knowing! Snoops!
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| That's the very song I was thinking of when I posted last! I've got so many favorite songs of his that I can't decide which is the best one. I think what applies here also is the song "You'll Never Work In Dis Bisness Again" where he pukes on the bar at Spago's! Once you do that you can never live that one down. |
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Post subject: Re: Tuesday Joke - Alcohol Study
Posted: Jun 10, 2008 - 10:11 PM
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Member
Joined: Feb 12, 2005
Posts: 9680
Location: I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend.--Abraham Lincoln
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| CaptJTK wrote: | A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles in a year.
Another study found Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.
Kind of makes you proud.
Good Morning!
My father sent me this joke this morning, so I thought I'd share. How's everyone? Man, I missed being here, but until recently I was too busy to breathe. Now I am severenced out of work, and very happily taking the summer off, I hope to be hanging around here again, if you'll have me.
I missed talking to you all.Have a great day,
CaptJTK |
Only if you bring cookies! That is a funny joke. I will have to send that one to my sister. |
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Let's do it as a memorial to Joyce Mason
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Post subject:
Posted: Jun 10, 2008 - 10:16 PM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 3369
Location: New Jersey USA
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As per your request........ |
_________________
Speaking as an enourmously unlikable person, I find it difficult to maintain grudges against all those that want to kill me, don't you? - Alan Shore
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Post subject:
Posted: Jun 11, 2008 - 04:01 AM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 5590
Location: Corn country in Illinois
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| CaptJTK wrote: |
As per your request........ |
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Cookies!!!!!!!
I must of missed you on the Im or your getting a storm. It's nearly 9 here and I went picking up cans as I need some gas money.
Be careful out East in that heat and watch out for those tornadoes!
DianaG |
_________________
LT. Star Fleet Ship's Chaplain/Councelor, USSBlackhawk
"Jesus said to her I am the Resurrection and the Life ..." John 11:25
"O Death where is thy sting?.... the Victory is thru Jesus Christ." I Cor. 15:54-56
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Post subject:
Posted: Jun 11, 2008 - 05:56 AM
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Member
Joined: Nov 12, 2004
Posts: 8922
Location: New England
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| We had high winds, lightning, heavy rain but no tornados here thankfully. |
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Post subject:
Posted: Jun 11, 2008 - 03:10 PM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 5590
Location: Corn country in Illinois
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| Mirizor wrote: | | We had high winds, lightning, heavy rain but no tornados here thankfully. |
Have you Mirizor or CaptJTK, ever had a tornado in your area at all?
We had a funnel cloud about 2 blocks down the street swirling in the sky over a dig we were doing for the La Salle Historical Society. We had just found a privy pit and found a whole mess of very old bottles and we looked up and saw the clouds beginning to rotate in a circular fashion. We went home immediatly. No tornado came from it tho thank God.
DianaG |
_________________
LT. Star Fleet Ship's Chaplain/Councelor, USSBlackhawk
"Jesus said to her I am the Resurrection and the Life ..." John 11:25
"O Death where is thy sting?.... the Victory is thru Jesus Christ." I Cor. 15:54-56
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Post subject:
Posted: Jun 11, 2008 - 03:34 PM
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Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2002
Posts: 3369
Location: New Jersey USA
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Jersey is not a hotbed of tornado activity, so when they have a warning of the potential, we all sort of run around in circles screaming. Not used to the idea at all. There have been a few small ones over the years, but nothing devastating.
I don't know how you guys in the midwest deal with that kind of threat all the time.
Sorry I missed you on IM last night, we had some impressive lightening to keep us entertained!
Maybe I'll catch you later.
CaptJTK |
_________________
Speaking as an enourmously unlikable person, I find it difficult to maintain grudges against all those that want to kill me, don't you? - Alan Shore
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