 Nerine Shatner Friendly House
This non profit organization is one of the nation's first residential
homes for women recovering from alcohol and substance abuse.
Donate
Here>>>
|
| |
Hollywood
Charity
Horse Show
For the past eleven years, William Shatner has spearheaded the HCHS
which features some of the best western reining riders in the country
while simultaneously raising money for charity.
Donate
Here>>>
|
| |
William
Shatner also
Supports:
 March
of
Dimes Canada
 The Jewish
National Fund
|
|
|
| Author |
Message |
|
|
 |
Post subject: Blondes
 Posted: Jul 20, 2007 - 01:00 PM
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 25, 2003
Posts: 7573
Location: 221B Baker Street London
|
|
Not saying Blondes are stupid but....
* A blonde called me to get my phone number.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
Post subject:
Posted: Jul 20, 2007 - 01:31 PM
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 18, 2004
Posts: 5199
Location: standing here shaking my head in disbelief....
|
|
 |
_________________
When you try to make others look small, you only show how truly tiny your own spirit is.
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Post subject:
Posted: Jul 20, 2007 - 01:33 PM
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 12, 2005
Posts: 10561
Location: Never you mind where I'm at! You don't need to be knowing! Snoops!
|
|
I like the Meow Mix one  Glad I'm a brunette  |
_________________
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Post subject:
Posted: Jul 23, 2007 - 09:34 AM
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 18, 2004
Posts: 5199
Location: standing here shaking my head in disbelief....
|
|
Two blondes with hammers, Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end , and I throw them away." Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"
=======================================================
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They had gone to see "Closed for the winter."
=======================================================
A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?"
"No, Silly," the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, "I just paid $3, 000.00 to get my teeth straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"So then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: "This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.
=========================================================
A blonde was drivi ng home after a game , and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees, and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her, and asked, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."
==========================================================
A blonde was shopping at Target, and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold."
"Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing....I 'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that?" he asked.
"Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied..... ..."Two popsicles and some coffee."
=============================================================
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"
The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest."
"Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it, and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass, and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office, and sees the blonde crying hysterically.
"What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks.
"No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!" |
_________________
When you try to make others look small, you only show how truly tiny your own spirit is.
|
| |
|
|
|
|
shatrules |
|
|
Post subject: Re: Blondes
Posted: Jul 23, 2007 - 02:28 PM
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 24, 2005
Posts: 262
Status: Offline
|
|
| britstarfan wrote: | Not saying Blondes are stupid but....
* A blonde called me to get my phone number.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home |
No wonder blondes have more fun! |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
Jami |
|
|
Post subject:
Posted: Jul 23, 2007 - 03:35 PM
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 27, 2005
Posts: 1603
Location: California
Status: Offline
|
|
You know why jokes about blonds are so short?
So brunettes can remember them.
..................................
A blond came into a New York bank and said she was going to Europe on a business trip for a month and needed to borrow $5,000. As collaterol she put up her Rolls Royce. She drove her car into the bank's secure parking lot, borrowed the money and left.
When she came back to pay the $5,000 and interest after her trip the bank manager came up. "Excuse me, miss." He said to the blond. "I was curious, well, we did a background check on you and found out you're a multi-millionaire! Why did you need to borrow $5,000?"
The blond replied, "Where else in New York can you park your Rolls for a month for only $5,000 and have it still be here when you get back?" |
_________________
~Jami JoAnne Russell~
www.jamisings.com
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Post subject:
Posted: Jul 23, 2007 - 04:37 PM
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 12, 2005
Posts: 10561
Location: Never you mind where I'm at! You don't need to be knowing! Snoops!
|
|
| Jami wrote: | You know why jokes about blonds are so short?
So brunettes can remember them.
..................................
A blond came into a New York bank and said she was going to Europe on a business trip for a month and needed to borrow $5,000. As collaterol she put up her Rolls Royce. She drove her car into the bank's secure parking lot, borrowed the money and left.
When she came back to pay the $5,000 and interest after her trip the bank manager came up. "Excuse me, miss." He said to the blond. "I was curious, well, we did a background check on you and found out you're a multi-millionaire! Why did you need to borrow $5,000?"
The blond replied, "Where else in New York can you park your Rolls for a month for only $5,000 and have it still be here when you get back?" |
touche', Jami, touche' |
_________________
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
FAQ
Search
Register
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
