WilliamShatner.com :: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"
Posted by: BillShatner on Thursday, May 15, 2008 - 04:04 AM

	I was going to begin my autobiography this way: Call me . . . Captain James T. Kirk, or Sergeant T.J. Hooker, or Denny Crane Denny Crane or Twilight Zone plane passenger Bob Wilson or the Big Giant Head or Henry V or the Priceline Negotiator or . . . Well, that’s the problem, isn’t it? I’ve been a working actor for more than half a century and I’ve played so many different roles on the stage, on television, and in the movies that it would be impossible to focus on just one of them. Besides, my career as an actor is only part of my story, so I realized I couldn’t begin this book that way...
Then I decided I was going to start this book by telling the story of my memorable meeting with Koko the gorilla: In 1988 to help the Gorilla Foundation encourage Californians to contribute to its Endangered Species Campaign I was permitted to visit Koko the gorilla in her quarters. Koko was an extraordinary animal who had learned to communicate with human beings. She was able to sign more than six hundred words, but more impressively, as her handlers told me, she understood the meaning of those words. She knew the signs for water and for bird and the first time she saw a duck landing on a lake she signed water bird. That displayed a synthesis of knowledge. So you see, she was obviously very intelligent. I was allowed to go into her compound, to enter a room with her all alone. As I walked into that room I was reminded that she was an imposing, powerful animal; smaller gorillas have been known to tear off men’s arms in anger. I am not often afraid, but truthfully I was frightened. There is a form of acting that teaches: feel it and say it, and that feeling will be revealed through your words. The English form is quite different: say it and then you feel it. To deal with my fear of this magnificent animal as I got closer and closer to her I found myself saying, “I love you, Koko. I love you.” I said it earnestly and honestly and I looked directly in her eyes as I spoke. I crouched over a little to show submission, moving forward rather than backward to show I was not afraid. Over and over I repeated, “I love you, Koko, I love you.” And as I said it, I began to feel that love. Finally I stopped directly in front of her and looked into her deep brown eyes and saw her furrowed brow and her enormous hands. I love you, Koko. And with that she reached out and grabbed me by my balls. And looked me right in the eyes. After a slight pause—in a substantially higher voice—I tried to repeat, “I love you, Koko.” Obviously these words had more significance than a few seconds earlier. Her handler at the far end of the room said, “Stand very still. She wants you to go to her bedroom.” So I stood very still because I did not want to go to her bedroom. I think it is fair to say that few people in history have ever stood as still as I did at that moment. Meanwhile, in the adjoining compound a young gorilla who they hoped would mate with Koko was pounding on the door like a jealous husband. There I was, caught in the eternal triangle, with a gorilla holding onto my rapidly shrinking scrotum. Eventually she got bored . . . Starting this book with that story would enable me to inform the reader that it’s not going to be limited to my professional career, that it will also include stories about all the extraordinary opportunities I’ve been given to explore the world. I’d discuss all the amazing experiences I’ve had, from that dark night in Africa when I pursued a wild elephant to the afternoon a helicopter left me more alone than I’d ever been in my life on top of a twenty-thousand-foot-high glacier, and even to that memorable moment when I saw aliens in the desert. And it would also demonstrate that there are going to be a lot of laughs in this book, most of them at my expense. But then I realized that people know me primarily from the work I’ve done as an actor, so that wouldn’t be effective as a beginning either. So I decided not to begin that way either. Then I had a great idea. I was going to start the book by quoting the lyrics to a song I’d written about the truly tragic death by drowning of my beautiful wife, Nerine Shatner: My love was supposed to protect her It didn’t My love was supposed to heal her It didn’t You had said don’t leave me And I begged you not to leave me We did Opening the book that way would be so meaningful to me, beginning with the great tragedy of my life. And it would immediately let readers know that this is to be a truthful book. But it would also be such a sad beginning, when my life has been filled with so much joy. And of course, I’m not known for my singing, in fact there are those who believe my performance of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” may be the worst version of a Beatles song ever recorded. Not me— of course. And this is such a personal story that it needs to be told in its entirety, so certainly I couldn’t begin my book that way. There is one extremely well-known phrase that I definitely decided I would not use to begin this book: “Beam me up, Scotty.” In fact, I am determined that this phrase will not appear anywhere in this book. The beginning, I knew, needed to catch the interest of the reader within a few words, to engage their curiosity, to make them wonder, perhaps, what the hell is he talking about? Which led to: I arrived in New York City for the first time in my life in an Indian outrigger canoe, having paddled all the way from Montreal . . . I liked that, but it didn’t seem to convey the essence of my life. Somehow it seemed too gimmicky, too clever, so I knew I couldn’t use that. Maybe later in the first chapter, I decided. It occurred to me that perhaps I should open this book with a description of the day I took my beautiful horse, Sultan’s Great Day, for his final walk in the pasture. Oh my, you should have seen him in his world-championship days. I’m telling you, this was the most magnificent stallion you’ve ever seen. I’m not kidding about that. Really, people were in awe of his presence. They would look at him and . . . I would use that beginning to tell you about my passions, the passions that have made all the difference in my life. The passions that I’ve spent my life pursuing: the love of a beautiful woman, the love for my family, the love for my craft, my art, the need to experience every aspect of life. Sometimes I’m amazed to realize that I live today with the vestiges of my priorities as a young man, the desire to act, the need to be loved, the pleasures of a great meal, a great laugh, and enduring companionship. But simply telling you about my passions—even my passion for horses and dogs—seemed far too somber an opening. Perhaps, I thought, I should start this book by being glib, by exposing my quirky sense of humor to the readers. Make them laugh at the very beginning by quoting a newspaper story about one of the more unusual things I’ve ever done: (AP) 1/17/2006 Actor William Shatner agreed on Monday to sell his kidney stone for $75,000 to an online casino. The money will go to Habitat for Humanity. “This takes organ donors to a new height, or perhaps a new low,” said Shatner. The auction price includes the surgical stint and string used to permit passage of the stone. According to Shatner, the kidney stone was so big, “[Y]ou’d want to wear it on your finger. If you subjected it to extreme heat, it might turn out to be a diamond . . .” While that beginning certainly would be humorous, it just seemed too frivolous to start that way. Instead, it occurred to me that the opening of this book should be thoughtful, it should be about my life. How much more sincere could I be about the life I’ve had than using words written by David E. Kelly for the character I play on Boston Legal, Denny Crane. Then it occurred to me, let Denny Crane write his own book! Finally, inspiration struck! I had what I believed would be a unique and perfect opening: Are you tired of paying full price for this book? Well, you don’t have to. You can buy as many copies of it as you like—and you name the price! That’s right, you name the price you want to pay. At Priceline.com it’s as simple as that. Here’s the way . . . Opening this book like that would be funny, yet accurate, as many people know me from my work representing various companies, such as Priceline.com. And if we also could sell a few more copies of this book, well, I didn’t think St. Martin’s would object. And if Priceline was approached properly by my agent, perhaps they might even be willing to purchase the rights to the opening paragraph. For less than full price, of course. But perhaps that was too crass for the opening of my autobiography, I decided. Is that really what I wanted to emphasize about my life and my career? And would Priceline meet my price? So that opening too, was rejected. And then it occurred to me: I don’t need an opening. By the time you’ve reached this paragraph my autobiography has already started. Of course that was very similar to my career; I was already in the middle of it before I realized it had begun.

Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now" | Log-in or register a new user account | 20 Comments

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Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

(Score: 1)
by ChristineSeibeck (Horsesforever) on May 15, 2008 - 11:18 AM
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Bill: I just can't wait to read this book, really looking forward to it.
I'm an avid reader mostly of historic novels and biography and mystery. also
it was a privledge to meet you at the Shatner Weekend. my best.Christine.

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by Piglet on May 15, 2008 - 02:38 PM
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Thank you. I have a copy somehwhere winging it's way through the postal system. I may end up with two copies if mine doesn't appear soon..Christina

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by unicorn44 on May 16, 2008 - 05:02 AM
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I received my copy of your book on the 13th. I haven't been able to put it down. I was even reading it during the commercials on Boston Legal Wednesday night. Reading this book, with your voice in my head, makes it such a fantastic experience. Your views on life and mystery are captivating. I had to read the end of the book, before reading the middle. I couldn't resist knowing the answers, (toupee or not). I do hope that you plan on writing the sequel. Good drama/comedy is needed in the world these days.

Your humility and humanity is inspiring. Sharing the trials and tribulations of your remarkable life can help others to challenge any and all adventures. The dignity and compassion that you expressed has opened my senses to what life has to offer me.

Thanks for your honesty/imagination. I am a true fan of Shatner.

Love always, Alice

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by con4ti (n.conforti@yahoo.com) on May 17, 2008 - 12:06 PM
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Just finished your book. Thanks for sharing.

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by rhansen on May 20, 2008 - 03:26 AM
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Bill! You are the best. I can't properly express how much I appreciate you as an actor and a human being. You are a gift to the rest of us.

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by Piglet on May 21, 2008 - 06:03 AM
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Got it Saturday - Went solo dinghy sailing Saturday for the first time. Fell in pulled myself out started again...Amazing experience your on your own speeding on the water just the wind the dinghy and you..Whawow!
Like your Book. Finished the book Sunday. Such a pleasure to read. What a wonderful journey you are on. Trust your instincts they've work well so far..Looking forward to the next chapter..Thank you. Christina

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by The_Weary_Professor on May 21, 2008 - 02:23 PM
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Dear Bill, Lisbeth & web staff,

I just finished reading Up Till Now and feel inclined to comment. I enjoyed the book enormously, but have some minor complaints. For the last dozen years I've taught literature and composition at the college level, so I'm used to carefully examining what I read in terms of style and usage.

The tone of this book is quite different than Bill's previous autobiographical works. This is presumably due to co-writer David Fisher's approach and prose style differing from Chris Kreski's. The earlier books presented a consistent, if somewhat workmanlike, organization and textual style while Up Till Now is more inconsistent and less linear. Like most celebrity memoirs, it appears the book was compiled from Bill's recorded anecdotal ruminations and numerous sections are presented verbatim in a voice that sounds much like Bill's. Fisher's approach was likely to organize the material and provide bridging prose to logically link the anecdotes. Kreski seemed to collate the memories and render the material in his own version of Bill's voice. Along with editorial tinkering, the different approach would account for the fluctuations of tone in the new book. The informational arrangement is somewhat chronological, mitigated by attempts to also arrange the material thematically. This is always an awkward strategy and I've never seen it done with complete success. Someone also had the lamentable idea of frequently interrupting Bill's many interesting stories with trivial asides and jovial sales pitches for WilliamShatner.com and Shatnervision.com. While we all know Bill as a marvelous pitchman, this technique quickly becomes irksome when frequently repeated on the printed page. Perhaps it will be more effective in the audiobook version. These elements necessarily make for inconsistent reading, and while this is a book of quality, this is also a book to be read in short spurts. Please don't misunderstand me. It's certainly readable and without glaring typographical or grammatical problems, but Bill's earlier memoirs made for more consistent reading from a stylistic perspective. Also, as I'm sure someone must have pointed out by now, the photo from Cannes is missing from the insert section. Although Bill didn't appear in the animated film, I doubt the empty white box was meant as a joke.

As for the actual content: There's a nice mix between the oft-repeated familiar stories and new material. As a longtime Shatner fan I'm grateful to have the book and relish the insights it provides. Much of the writing is extraordinary. The section describing Nerine's alcoholism and death is one of the most beautiful and poignant things I've read in a long time. It moved this jaded and critical reader to tears. The insights into Bill's acting philosophy, his quest for metaphysical meaning and his evolving friendhips with Leonard Nimoy and James Spader are welcome and satisfying.

If anything, the book's main flaw in terms of content is that it tries to cover too much ground. A career and life as substantial and varied as Bill's simply cannot be covered in a single 342 page memoir. I would rather this were one of two volumes--the first covering his early life and career up to perhaps the cancellation of the original Star Trek, and the second to cover the years since. It's too late now, but perhaps Bill might consider another book comprised of anecdotes about his acting jobs through the years (along the lines of the Basil Rathbone story in the book), because a career of his longevity necessarily means they were given short shrift in the present work. The ones here are terrific. So much is covered in this one book that it becomes dizzying at times, but then I imagine Bill's life is pretty dizzying at times.

In conclusion, even with my minor complaints, I heartily recommend this book to anyone ever touched or amused by a Shatner performance through the years. It's a unique opportunity to glimpse the soul behind the constantl
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Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by mlee on May 22, 2008 - 12:03 PM
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<div>I could not wait to buy a copy of "Up Till Now" and I haven't put it down since. His story is inspiring and entertaining--I haven't enjoyed reading an autobiography as much as this one.</div>I was so thrilled to meet Bill in person at the Book Soup signing in L.A. this past Saturday. It was such an honor to meet him. I was so mesmerized! My husband said I acted like a giddy schoolgirl so I hope Bill didn't think I was too much of a geek!

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by favio on May 24, 2008 - 11:52 PM
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Did I you want much, but the more we wait for verte in STAR TREK, how long bill, gives me anger that're angry with worldwide from ECONOMIC but not worth be more humble and work in what you gave a recognition, after so many years, as all actors of star trek (TOS) mentioned be favio from Argentine.

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by Claudia on May 25, 2008 - 03:02 AM
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Hi Bill!
I have bought the book and I have aleady read the first four (sorry, kvar)chapters. I am really enjoying your book and only necessity forces me to put it down....as well as writing this message!
Incidendally I saw part of the film "Incubus" back in the late seventies on French TV, one afternoon in winter. I knew it wasn't Spanish, wasn't sure whether it might be Portuguese.... I didn't know then that it was Esperanto.
It's only years later, in the late nineties, that I recognized the film when I went to see it as part of the Leeds International Film Festival: I had never forgotten the scene when the young woman is walking blind after staring at the sun eclipse. However I hadn't seen the end of the film back in the seventies as a relative arrived and we switched off the TV.
And now my eyes are getting sore, not from watching an eclipse, but for reading your book for far too long without a break.........a thoroughly enjoyable experience!
Thank-you.
Wishing you well.
Claudia

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by bobbymcn on May 26, 2008 - 12:05 AM
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I'll try and get the book. I've not read anything in ages.
Mr. Shatner, Tell Whoopi I am ready.

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by angel on Jun 01, 2008 - 03:54 AM
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Hoping to get the book for my birthday! Can't wait! Hope you're having an enjoyable summer!

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by BrianS7785 on Jun 05, 2008 - 04:38 AM
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I finished the book a couple days ago and it was absolutely wonderful! I learned a lot about the many fascinating experiences of your life, some I knew about, many I was learning for the first time. I am so glad that I have a signed copy at that! I will treasure it forever.

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by d.j.perry on Jun 06, 2008 - 12:48 AM
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Very nice words, Bill...
I think it will be a great and true book of your life.

My best
d.j.perry

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by brandonklein on Jun 16, 2008 - 03:08 PM
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Dear Mr. Shatner,

Being born in 1971, You have always been an everlasting icon of my life. From the early Mego toys I played with as a child up to meeting you about 4 or 5 years ago at a convention in Cleveland. I want to thank you for the book you have written because it puts into perpective how life can dish out some strange entrees not only for the average person, but also for an accomplished actor such as yourself. We, your fans, hope that you continue to follow your own path trying new things, and new ideas.

Brandon Klein

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by chestylarue on Jun 16, 2008 - 06:58 PM
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I stayed up most of the night to finish reading this.  Funny, poignant, insightful.  Shatner rocks. Denny Crane.

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

(Score: 1)
by hch101 on Jul 07, 2008 - 07:54 PM
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Hey Bill,

I recently downloaded your book from iTunes and just finished listening to the experience with the death of your wife, and my heart went out for you. I had no idea the kind of suffering that had occured in your life and to your former bride. Your writings have always inspired me and before I could even finish this book wanted to say I'm sorry. A friend of mine is a alcoholic carrying a tragic past, it was very difficult to stand by him through trying times. I understand the courage it must have taken you want to help her. The helplessness feeling is hard to deal with. I am glad that your moving forward and continue to provide us with wonderful writings, shows and movies. Take care.

Heath

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by francislcharbonneaujr on Jul 17, 2008 - 09:16 PM
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Dear Bill, J'aimerais lire votre livre bientot aussi! Je ne peux pas attendre! I wish to write a couple of things. Star Trek has been a part of my life for many many years since I was a boy of 3 years of age back in 1966 as well as the Twilight Zone, the Outer Limits original series, Lost in Space, and movies such as 2001 A Space Oddyssey. Just a little tidbit of information on me and my family...My Uncle, Louis Henry Charbonneau, Jr. from California is a science fiction writer who knew Harlan Ellison who wrote the "City on the Edge of Forever" in the 1st season. Uncle Louis, wrote many sci fi novels under his name that were published by Bantam and Doubleday for example. One of his novels from 1958 was "Corpus Earthling". NBC picked up the story and requested of my Uncle to write the screenplay for the Outer Limits "Corpus Earthling" which starred well known actor, Robert Culp. Uncle Lou was asked to submit another episode in the 2nd season which was "Cry of Silence" starring the late Eddie Albert. Recently, one of the major motion picture companies contacted Uncle Lou about submitting a screenplay of "Corpus Earthling" as there is some interest in making that into a feature movie for the theater. Naturally, we are all elated....Other interesting information on my family, The "Charbonneau" family - we are also from Montreal, Laval, and Pointe-Aux-Trembles Quebec and also Boucherville. My Charbonneau family settled there in 1659 from La Rochelle, France after making a 4 month journey across the Atlantic Ocean. The ship, the St. Andre, nearly sank during storms that were in the Atlantic during that time period. Olivier Charbonneau and 18 relatives survived and landed in Quebec. I am a descendant of Olivier and very proud. My Grandfather and Great-grandparents came down from Montreal, Quebec. My family spoke French and I am blessed to be able to speak and write it very fluently and I love as did my late, Father, Francis Louis Charbonneau (Sr.) who was a combat decorated WWII soldier (two bronze stars and a purple heart). I would be interested to know if you still make it up to Montreal to visit?...Other interesting tidbits...Grace Lee Whitney whom I know and spoke to a couple months ago went to high school in Detroit with my Mother, Muriel E. Charbonneau at Cooley High School. I believe that Grace attended Wayne State University and sang at the WJR AM 76 "Don Large" chorus on the radio for about five years with my Mother!! When she was in town a few years ago, I was asked by Detroit Radio Host Bob Hynes (who also worked at WJR AM 760) to pick up Grace from the Detroit Metropolitan Airport. Grace gave me a big hug, told me I was very cute, and then we talked a mile a minute and she was floored when she found out that I am the son of her high school classmate and fellow radio singer at WJR! She remembered my Mother very very well...When My Father passed away, it was the comfort of watching some of the Original Series episodes that helped pull me through. I thought about your story of the episode with the Horta and I watched that one and it really brought me to tears...Also a quick comment about Star Trek and Lost in Space during that time period. I remember when Mark Goodard was interviewed when I worked for WJR AM 760 and he stated that when Lost in Space started the writer was a gentleman by the name of "Shimon Wincelberg" who wrote the first five episodes of Lost in Space. Shimon Wincelberg was cancelled by CBS and the quality was reduced Mark Goddard stated. I recall that Shimon Wincelberg then wrote "Dagger of the Mind" in the Original Series first season. Had Lost in Space retained the excellence in writers that Star Trek had that first season, it might have been taken more seriously. Although, my daughters love both shows...Enough of my rambling and best wishes to you and your family. Mes sentiments a vous! Sincerement, Francis Louis Charbonneau (Grosse Pointe, MI)

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

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by suesmith1955 on Sep 22, 2008 - 06:19 PM
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Hi. Please be gentle with me as I`ve never done this before.
Ok I will admit that I am gready and anything SHATNER is top of my
MUST GET list. I first managed to buy Bills book "Up Till Now", and
although I also had the audio of it I finished reading before
listening. The willpower it took!

It is so difficult sometimes to obtain something on this side of the Pond
that is readily available in America.
I really love the way he writes. I don`t know why. This book managed to do something NO other has ever done. When I reached the part about Narines
death I was crying. NO KIDDING real tears. I couldn`t stop them, and I couldn`t stop reading

I had a similar experience when listening to "Has Been" for the first time
and got to a CERTAIN track. Big lump in throat.
I love Bill`s wacky sense of humour, it`s brilliant, and he has had such a varied carear. His passion and energy are unstoppable.
I think I should stop now before the guys in white coats come for me. I shall end by saying Bill is NOT a Hollywood fake. What you see is what you get.
WILLIAM SHATNER IS GENUINE. WILLIAM SHATNER IS R E A L.
May the wind be at your backs. Sue.

Re: Excerpt: from my Autobiography: "Up Till Now"

(Score: 1)
by MarleneL on Oct 09, 2008 - 06:01 PM
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I absolutely love your book! Your life experiences made me feel better about my own experiences. I lost my daughter in 1994 when she was 10 years old and I related to your agony of loss.

I must find your other books and read them also, you do inspire me...

Marlene